The Royal Stretch™ Cotton Tea Towel - Sanity of Society™

The Royal Stretch™

Tagline: For those who lounge like they mean it.

Because being regal doesn’t require being bright.

The Royal Stretch™ is the cocktail embodiment of the Great Dane — tall, graceful, and blissfully unaware of its own size. It’s a drink that enters the room like it owns it, forgets why it came in, and still gets admired for existing. Smooth, refreshing, and just self-assured enough to make up for its lack of follow-through.

A blend of gin, lime, and quiet confusion, this cocktail pairs best with plush furniture, soft lighting, and low expectations. It’s the perfect companion for anyone who believes intelligence is overrated when you have good posture and strong pour form.

Tasting Notes:

• Aromas of citrus and misplaced confidence.

• Big body. Soft bite. Minor memory issues.

• Pairs well with long naps and mild delusion.

The Royal Stretch™ — Proof that you don’t have to be smart to be majestic.

A witty linen that brings a wink of humor to everyday tasks. This tea towel features a Great Dane and cocktail style illustration - a lightweight, hemmed towel that drapes nicely over a bar or basket. It’s the kind of cheerful, slightly cheeky accent that will brighten up prep, cleanup, and conversation —an easy way to add personality to any kitchen without shouting for attention, but also showing off the dogs and drinks you love.

Product features
- Hemmed edges for reinforced durability
- Available in Cotton Twill (absorbent) or Polyester (stretchy, durable)
- One size: 18" × 30" (45.72cm × 76.2cm)
- One-sided print with vibrant, crisp colors

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle, mild detergent
- Do not bleach
- Tumble dry: low heat