The Royal Stretch™ Crewneck Sweatshirt - Sanity of Society™
$56.00
The Royal Stretch™
For those who lounge like they mean it.
Because being regal doesn’t require being bright.
The Royal Stretch™ is the cocktail embodiment of the Great Dane — tall, graceful, and blissfully unaware of its own size. It’s a drink that enters the room like it owns it, forgets why it came in, and still gets admired for existing. Smooth, refreshing, and just self-assured enough to make up for its lack of follow-through.
A blend of gin, lime, and quiet confusion, this cocktail pairs best with plush furniture, soft lighting, and low expectations. It’s the perfect companion for anyone who believes intelligence is overrated when you have good posture and strong pour form.
Tasting Notes:
Aromas of citrus and misplaced confidence.
Big body. Soft bite. Minor memory issues.
Pairs well with long naps and mild delusion.
The Royal Stretch™ — Proof that you don’t have to be smart to be majestic.
Product features
- Tubular, no side seams for a smooth, waste-reducing build
- Medium-heavy 50/50 cotton-poly (8.0 oz/yd²) for warmth and durability
- Ribbed knit collar and double-needle stitching for lasting shape and strength
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
QUANTITY